


Parabatai

by masquerade97



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Coda, Gen, Parabatai, Post-Episode: s02e18 Awake Arise Or Be Forever Fallen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 01:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11749419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masquerade97/pseuds/masquerade97
Summary: Jace can tell something's bothering Alec





	Parabatai

**Author's Note:**

> i've seen a lot of people talking about how the parabatai bond is being treated on the show and felt the need for a parabatai scene

“The mirror is Lake Lyn?” Alec asked, a skeptical edge to his voice. It wasn’t necessarily that he didn’t believe it, but it seemed a bit far-fetched for his liking.

“I know it sounds crazy,” Clary said, holding out a hand as if to hold off their protests, “but you said the Angels have the secret to the mirror, right?”

“That’s right.”

“What if Angels could look down and use the lake as a mirror?” Clary asked. “To us it’s just a body of water. We can’t see a full reflection. But you could if you were up higher.”

“The Angel Raziel did rise from the lake,” Izzy pointed out, tilting her head in consideration. Her brow was furrowed thoughtfully, but she seemed to accept the theory.

“And my dreams,” Clary said, excited now that she had support. “Or visions. I’m always back at Lake Lyn, seeing a reflection of myself.”

Alec took a deep breath and nodded to himself. “So we have to keep Valentine away,” he said, having made up his mind.

“He still has the Sword and the Cup,” Jace agreed.

Alec nodded. “We’ll call the Inquisitor first thing in the morning,” he said. “For now, I think we could all use some rest.” He turned and walked back to his desk, effectively dismissing everyone.

He needed time to think, time to be alone and process. Instead he tried to go through his list of tasks in the day to come, muttering to himself. “We’ll call Imogen in the morning,” he said. “We can track Jonathan.” Something occurred to him and he made a note on his tablet to call a meeting of the Downworld Cabinet; they’d need to know about this too. Combining their forces could help this manhunt go much faster. And the sooner they found Valentine, the sooner this could all be over.

“Alec.”

Alec looked up abruptly, having not realized that Jace hadn’t left with the others. “Something wrong?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jace said, a look of concern on his face. “What happened?”

Alec did his best to look nonchalant, putting on half a smile. His heart wasn’t in it. “What do you mean?” he asked. “What happened with Max?”

“You know that’s not what I mean,” Jace said. “You’re upset about something.” It wasn’t a question.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alec said, looking back down at his tablet to finish making notes for the next day. “I’m fine.” He hoped that would settle the issue, but Jace seemed to have other ideas.

“You’re lying,” Jace said, stepping closer to the desk and looking down at Alec. His gaze stayed fixed on his brother until Alec finally locked the tablet and looked up again.

“I’m not lying,” Alec said, his voice carefully neutral. He smiled flatly. “I’m fine.”

“Alec. I’m your parabatai. I know you’re not fine.”

Alec looked away and ran a hand down his face wearily. Truth be told, he didn’t know how to articulate what he was feeling, and he and Jace had never quite made a habit of talking about relationship troubles. They’d never had a chance.

“I also know you won’t talk about it unless someone pries it out of you,” Jace said, crossing his arms in front of himself. “And I know you’ll just sit alone being miserable instead of talking about it if we let you.”

Alec closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Jace-”

“Alec, come on,” Jace said. “I feel like we never talk anymore. You’re my brother. My parabatai. I can’t let you go around feeling like this.” At some point his hand had gone to his parabatai rune, as if it were a fresh wound he was trying to keep from bleeding. “You’ve been down recently, but we were so caught up in finding the mirror, and then what just happened with Max, and then after Brother Enoch left...” Jace shook his head. “Alec, what happened?”

“Okay,” Alec said. He forced himself to look Jace in the eye. “It’s Magnus,” he said, keeping as much emotion out of his voice as possible even as Jace’s arms unfolded and he took on a more defensive stance. “Don’t, Jace. It was my fault. Or maybe it was both of us. I don’t know, but it wasn’t Magnus’ fault.”

“I don’t care whose fault it was, what happened?” Jace asked, a fierce protectiveness in his eye that hadn’t been there in years.

“I didn’t tell him about the Sword,” Alec admitted, the words tasting like acid on his tongue. “I couldn’t...” He shook his head. “I couldn’t ask him to keep that a secret.”

“You did the right thing Alec,” Jace said, not a hint of hesitation in his voice.

Alec shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know what to think.” He swallowed thickly and looked away, getting his thoughts in order as best he could. “But Magnus was - is - upset, and I can’t blame him. Not after...” Alec stopped himself before he could say too much. Talking to Jace about how he was feeling was one thing, but it was another to reveal what Magnus had told him. He shook his head again, trying to clear it. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jace said gently. He pulled one of the chairs up to the desk and sat opposite Alec and leaned forward so they were on the same level. “You did what you thought was best.”

Alec laughed bitterly. “And look where it got me,” he said. He glanced up at Jace and didn’t see his right-hand man, he saw his brother. Maybe Jace was right; maybe it had been too long since they’d actually spoken to each other. Alec closed his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Magnus needs to focus on what’s best for his people,” he said quietly.

“We all do,” Jace said, clearly trying to piece out what Alec was saying to him.

The muscles in Alec’s jaw tightened. “He said that the only thing holding him back from thinking about his people... is me.” Alec could feel his eyes watering and he clenched his teeth even tighter together, trying to keep it together until he could get back to his room.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Jace said. He was kneeling at Alec’s side before Alec even noticed he was moving. “He probably just needs time to sort through what’s going on.”

“I shouldn’t have put him in a position that he’d need to choose,” Alec said, his anger and frustration at himself and the whole situation coming through clearly. “That’s not a choice he should have to make, and I backed him into it.”

“Woah, hey, don’t talk like that,” Jace said. “You can’t control what’s going on.”

“But I could have told him about the Sword.”

“So what?” Jace asked.

Alec stood abruptly, forcing Jace to get back to his feet. “What did you just say?”

Jace didn’t back down. “You didn’t tell him. Okay. Now, whether that was the right choice or not remains to be seen, but you can’t go back in time to change it,” he said. “You aren’t doing any good beating yourself up over trying to do the right thing.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think it would,” Jace said. “But you can’t fix anything by moping. You did what you thought was right. I think you were right, if it makes any difference.”

Alec relaxed again. Marginally. “You do?”

“‘Course I do.” Jace shrugged. “There’s too much going on. You can’t play the whole board by yourself, and you made a judgement call. The fewer people who knew, the better. I’d bet Magnus understands that too.”

Alec shook his head and turned away. “He thinks I didn’t trust him,” he said quietly. Saying it out loud made Magnus’ words stab through his chest again. “After...”

“Look, you don’t have to tell me everything,” Jace said, picking up on Alec’s reluctance to continue. “But I’d bet Magnus understands. There’s just too much going on, with Valentine threatening the Downworld and Jonathan free again.” He paused and placed a hand on Alec’s shoulder. “We’re all run ragged, Alec. You can’t help that.”

Alec shut his eyes and took a breath that shuddered through his rib cage. “How am I supposed to fix this?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Jace shook his head even though he knew Alec couldn’t see him. “I don’t know,” he said, helpless. He dropped his hand. “But I know that if anyone can come through something like this, it’s you and Magnus.”

Alec hesitated before he turned back toward Jace. “You mean that?”

“Are you kidding?” Jace asked, a smirk pulling the corner of his mouth up. “I’ve seen the two of you together.”

Alec cocked his head to one side. “But what makes you think...?”

“You’re my parabatai,” Jace said. “I know how much happier you are when you’re with him. And I can see how happy he is around you.” He smiled a little wider. “When all this is over, the two of you will sort it out.”

Alec blinked and looked away again. He didn’t know why, but part of him felt heavier for Jace’s words, even as another part of him started to hope. But foremost in his mind was the understanding that at this moment, he didn’t have Magnus by his side. And even if he had him back later, for now he didn’t. The responsibility for that hung heavily on his shoulders, and the thought made fresh tears spring to his eyes, even as he tried to force them down.

A moment later, he felt Jace’s arms around him. “It’ll be okay,” Jace said.

Alec nodded, choosing to believe him for the moment, returning his brother’s hug. “Thank you,” he said, feeling the first of his tears spill down his cheeks.

**Author's Note:**

> [rebloggable version on tumblr if that's your thing](http://titlecomingsoon.tumblr.com/post/163965849911/parabatai)/[i'm over here on tumblr if you're curious](http://titlecomingsoon.tumblr.com/)


End file.
